It’s easy, right? You just stop messaging someone without any explanation. Sometimes ghosting may feel like its the best thing to do right? Minimal effort, minimal fuss. The other person won’t mind, they’ll understand. But how often do we give ourselves the opportunity to think about how the person on the side may feel?
Ghosting isn’t a new phenomenon, the act of disappearing off a date or friend’s radar hasn’t just started to happen but with the proliferation of online dating and apps and the sheer number of new connections we’re able to make on a daily basis, it seems to be becoming more and more common. Speak to most people today and the words “I’ve been ghosted” seem to be all too common. We’ve accepted that this is a completely normal thing to happen and we should just expect it. But does that make it okay?
Ghosters tend to think that this swift and silent exit means that the other person won’t get hurt as it’s much less painful than telling them the truth that you don’t want to continue a relationship anymore. Whereas in actual fact, not treating them with the respect they deserve to know the truth and create some form of completion and closure can be a really cowardly and immature thing to do. With online dating, the lack of in-person communication can sometimes lead us to believe that a true connection hasn’t formed but don’t make that assumption, a deep connection can form quickly during the first flutters of excitement of meeting someone new that you fancy. And so this is even more reason to be upfront and honest with the person you’ve connected with.
And for those of us that have been ghosted, don’t make it about you. It’s a reflection of the ghoster rather than you. Ghosting isn’t nice and it can really impact our self-esteem, leaving us reeling with a feeling of being rejected and embarrassed. But honestly, you’re better off. If this person hasn’t developed the maturity to be able to communicate respectfully their feelings, then you’re in a great place to let this person go, exorcise that ghost and create the space for someone who is ready to create the kind of relationship you really desire.
So let’s not fall into the bad behaviour trap, let’s all treat each other with respect and integrity. Let’s set a new and high standard for the type of communication we all want and deserve!
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