5 Reasons Why You Don’t Need A Dating Coach
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the appeal of paying a dating coach. Hey, I understand the appeal of paying for any type of coach that will help you improve certain aspects of your life. But, having worked in and around the industry for 7 years, I’ve been privy to dealing with some of the best and worst dating coaches the UK has to offer and I wanted to share a realistic look as to why you really don’t need a dating coach.
ONE: Dating is Subjective
Nobody can be a dating “expert”. What makes one date great for somebody, won’t necessarily make it great for somebody else. I always ask not to be quoted as a dating “expert” in the press as I can never really know the full story behind somebody’s dating life. I can give advice, but that’s all it can ever be. There is no secret universal formula that costs thousands of pounds that will instantly make you good at dating. Which brings me to my next point…..
TWO: What the Hell is “Good at Dating”?
What the hell does that even mean? Nobody’s good at dating. They’re just good people!
People who listen.
People who ask questions.
People who are happy to pay for things if need be.
People who are happy to travel a little bit further to meet you halfway.
People who don’t just stare at their phone the whole night.
Isn’t it crazy that these normal everyday considerations need to be thrown into the whole “good at dating” basket. If a dating coach is supposed to make you a better “dater”, you’re probably better off focusing on other things such as……
THREE: Improving Yourself Overall – Not at Dating
If you work hard at improving your skillsets overall, why would you need a dating coach? If I know I need to listen more or consciously not butt-in whilst people are talking – that has nothing do with dating. It’s something that I know I need to work on that will help my conversation skills in general overall, not just at dating. By doing this, you’ll notice a huge positive across various aspects of your life obviously including when you’re out on dates.
FOUR: Who Are They To Know Everything?
Anybody in this day and age can take a course and feel they are ready to give advice on shaping somebody’s life. I watched dating coaches first-hand tell their students one thing and do the complete opposite when it came to their own dating life. I had another one (one of the UK’s TOP dating coaches I might add) and I quote “when people ask me what my credentials are, I just show them my wedding ring”. Yep, my eyes just rolled as well. Especially as they were a lot older and never had to navigate the pitfalls of modern day dating.
My point is that it’s still a business and these people will never be able to 100% relate to what you’re going through. Your story is yours – nobody else’s. So, whilst they may have experience, they don’t have your experience.
FIVE: Keep it Simple
A dating coach will obviously look at things you/they think need to improve on…. That’s what they get paid for. I think sometimes we’re too quick to think things are wrong when in reality we just need to take a step back and try to simplify things, not overcomplicate them by overanalysing every small detail with an “expert”.